once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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