so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
