yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
