I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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