things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
