You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
