They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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