I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
