People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
This toilet bowl is my home.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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