I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
