I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
