walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
