i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
you win again, gameday.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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