I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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