I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
