just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
