Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
cat food counts as protein by the way
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
