WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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