none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
