Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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