Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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