Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
