do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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