Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
