...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
It's not a walk of shame if you run
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
