Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
