Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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