I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize