My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
