just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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