whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize