Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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