I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
