i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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