i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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