Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
