hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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