these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
