The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
