He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize