Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
We talked him into tasing himself.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
