why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
