I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
