Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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