Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
