just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
