so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm just crazy horny about you
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
