Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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