hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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