Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
