I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
