well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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