I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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