I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize