So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
