I'm so fucking centered right now
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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