I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize