a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize