This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Randomize
