Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I didn't notice because vodka
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
