I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize