Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
