he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
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