i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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