Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
