There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
