I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
