is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
She's the barista slut.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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