i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
