You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
