i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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