Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
