i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
