marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
