tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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