Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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