thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
