I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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