i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
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