Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
