I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
