She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
